a sliCe oF IiFe

2005-05-22T23:34:00.000+08:00

on a day where man utd was playing some of their smoothest, flowing football with overwhelming brillance from rooney and ronaldo, they had to lose in the worst possible way.. well i'd guess thats the way of the ball.. dammit.

on a brighter note, i'd receive my med letter today! =) its gonna be a loong path ahead but i'll think i can cope with it.. happy happy =)

2005-05-15T03:16:00.000+08:00

suppose you were offered a tasty piece of meat for your hard work.. and in that haste to eat that meat, you did something wrong and ended up being shamed and the piece of meat, withdrawn.. so close.. yet so far..

ever read the five people you meet in heaven? about the people who you'll probably never knew about or barely knew, but is enough to touch and change your lives forever? well, i think i've just met one of them.

he probably was the nicest of men i've ever knew.. though it was a short time.. he's diplomatic and just... nice. yet i can never imagine the burden, regret and shame taht he carries on his shoulders.. is it really that easy to put down something that's so hard to let go? to just throw it to the back of your mind.. that to pretend that it never happened before? i don't think so.. to put myself in his shoes.. the whole idea of it is just a.. tragedy.. it just isn't fair.. then again, i guess nothing is fair here.. =(

i've been thinking of late, when lying down just before lights out every night.. it's scary to think of what the future has in store, and what twists (cruel more often than not~) that can happen anytime..

haha.. the loneliness of it all..

断了的弦

断了的弦再怎么练我的感觉你已听不见你的转变
像断掉的线再怎么接音都不对你的改变我能够分辨

我沈默你的话也不多我们之间少了什么不说
哎唷微笑后表情终于有点难过握着你的手问你确定了再走

再走我突然释怀的笑笑着盘旋半山腰
随风在飘摇啊摇来到你的面前绕
你泪水往下的掉说会记住我的好我也弯起了嘴角笑

你的美已经给了谁追了又追我要不回
我了解离开树的叶属于地上的世界凋谢

断了的弦再弹一遍我的世界你不在里面
我的指尖已经弹出茧还是无法留你在我身边

断了的弦再怎么练我的感觉你已听不见你的转变
像断掉的弦再怎么接音都不对你的改变我能够分辨

2005-05-08T18:21:00.002+08:00

jianbin.

2005-05-08T18:21:00.001+08:00

sh~

2005-05-08T18:21:00.000+08:00

me and cb

2005-05-08T18:19:00.000+08:00

class gathering!!

2005-05-08T18:18:00.000+08:00

me wit the guys on parent visiting day~

2005-05-08T18:16:00.000+08:00

suddenly realised how much i missed e outside world.. when i looked through all these pictures that brought back such great memories... sometimes it's through losing that you start to appreciate and value it more..

haha very soon it'll be back to the southern part of singapore.. where a piece of me belongs ;p

supper with the guys was a great load of fun.. betcha all can't guess there were five of us there... haha mr ellery decided that the inscet bite on his forehead wasn't picture worthy... so there goes another chance for me to take his pic and blackmail him at e same time =p seowhong... he looks e same.. so much for him being a peacemaker in his platoon~ choonboon. finally got the guts.hahas~ jianbin? haha my same old 14 year friend.

looking outside my room out at RJC, after the rain and cool weather seems different.. there's this huge cutting that says -DAISY- on the windows of one of the blocks.. -_-" can see their hostels.. then that crematorium.. erps..

and its mothers day today...

love you mums. =)

such a wonderful sunday evening

2005-04-16T23:20:00.000+08:00

i've got ten minutes to write all that i want to say before i sleep. its sucks. and it doesn't help when you're having guard duty tomorrow. with loads of assignments and reports. and an endless pile of journal entries (that will be checked) and a personal testimonial to write... you know you're either:

1. primary school boy
2. friendster addict
3. in some funny uniformed group
4. or an officer cadet in ocs.

the tables's been kinda messy. there's an empty chipsmore double chocolate wrapper lying around, with a peanut butter flavoured captain crunch next to it as company (still quite full thankfully) and topped of with some i've-yet-to-find-out-where-but-is-famous tau huay(also emptied).

dang.. 5 minutes more...

somehow its more homely than ever at this home.. i lurve the smell of my pillow and dear bolster.. that warm bed. something you don't usually get back in ocs. heck.. you be lucky if you can get a full 7 hrs of sleep there. well. i don't.

mosquitos there are a different thing altogether. imagine all the biggest mosquitoes. multiply all of them by ten. give then face-biting tendancies and the uncanny ability to become intangible and tangible again. well.. so much for the mosquito net~

"eh..
perserve la..
you chao gu-niang"

"damn"

times up!

2005-04-08T23:54:00.000+08:00

somehow.. i always believed that for one to mature and to become the man that he will eventually be, one must go through a turning point at some point of his life. this point could be different for each and everyone of us. it could come in the form of a traumatic event, like the death of a loved one. or even show itself in the guise of a guiding hand of a good friend whose always there, looking out for you and inadvertably, changing your life. ultimately, one will change.. for the better.. or for the worse~

OCS's been a whole new refreshing breath of air for me. it may only have been three weeks, but the highs and the lows i've experienced there.. its more that words can say.. the officers there are one of the most distinguished bunch i've ever seen.. not only do they treat us with the respect, their heart-to-heart chats with us really opened up my world to the struggles that one has to go through before charting his future path in that big, misty sea.. we were silent when we heard one of their stories, perhaps sad.. for me? i just felt -respect- for that guy.

the friends there i've made are great too~ i've got a long lost pri school frnd there, some HC frnds (most of which i know thankfully) and some really good people out there.. to go through thick and thin for the next 35 weeks.. haha what more can i wish~

then again, it can get kinda..depressing? sometimes.. i just wish everything can go back to e times like back then in BMT.. slower pace.. more people to chill out with.. sergeants to talk cock with.. haha then again i guess its ocs.. inspiration? yeah definitely when i was watching the graduation parade last sat~ i was filled with pride and awe at that parade, especially when the marching past started.. to see jingrong, elmo and many many more seniors being commissioned.. heard they had a tradition of giving out red packets if we go greet them after e parade... haha guess it was banned~then again.. haha.. i guess i will get there one day.. won't we?

this may be one of the many turning points in my life.. we're all still learning, changing, maturing as a whole.. i won't be a complete person. i'll probably never will.. but i'll keep trying... till my one last breath~

cheers to life! =)

2005-03-19T02:48:00.000+08:00

these wounds won't seem to heal
this pain is just too real
there's just too much that time cannot erase

a familiar tune. the same old lyrics. the fondest of memories.. there's no reason to feel nostalgic.. right? we tend to bottle too much of our emotions.. if these bottles of emotions could be sold, we probably be millionaires by now. better to just let things.. flow.

sometimes the smallest of things can evoke the deepest of memories.. a drop of rain. the slightest squeak. that shade of grey. minute? they certainly are. but again, sometimes, is enough.

emotions are a funny thing.. once released, its hard to get it back. then again, maybe it wasn't meant to be..

i'd held your hand through all of these years
but you still have..
all of me

~random musings

2005-03-16T23:48:00.000+08:00

remember this time when we had swimming lessons in j1.. wore my trunks to sch and forgot to pack another set of undies =p.. only realised after the lesson. told the guys. someone told mdm toh. she called back later, offering to lend me a set of her son's paper undies. =)

ever felt touched and stunned at the same time? haha this time i was.. had half a mind to accept it before deciding against it... there's this tagline i suddenly remember.. "size does matter". so ended up washing 'n drying my trucks instead.

and here's my little tribute to you mdm toh =)

2005-03-09T00:21:00.000+08:00

happy birthdae to me~

2005-03-08T23:11:00.000+08:00

i'm a private now!!

so much for the Passing Out Parade.. somehow i felt kinda sad at the end.. especially before the parade, when we were moving our stuff from our bunks to the MPH for storage.. we marched past alpha and echo company, and they gave us standing ovations as we went past 'em.. can't help but felt touched and sad at the same time, especially to brothers from echo, whom we've become closer in recent times.. we may not have spoken or interacted much, but to see you guys trenscend from wearing shorts to bermudas..(if you know what i mean..),its more than words can say.. =)

said my goodbyes to some of them.. especially junyang... very, very proud of him.. he's lost like twenty over kilos.. andtts what i'll call respect.. all the best man.. although your POP's somewhere in june, don't lose heart... strive on and achieve your dreams.. OCS's definitely within your reach~!

2005-02-21T01:07:00.000+08:00

oh.. and the western food stall at the neaby hawker centre s turned into an nasi lemak stall.. =)

field camp's been a refreshing and evenful... adventure. for me i guess.. its not everyday that one gets to eat, sleep and feel with nature... been spending lots of time thinking about many things.. sleeping (partly) under a basha and looking at the clear cloudless nightline.. i guess this is where tekong's beauty lies... her sky's unlike none of any part in singapore... clouds are really cloudlike (?), while you can often see loads of stars on many a day..

the passin out parade's on 8 march, siT test will be in the coming week.. plenty of busy stuff for me to do and prepare... drive on!!!!

=)

2005-02-13T15:04:00.000+08:00

its nice to have a long break once in a while... camp's life been a mixed bag of beans so far. can't complain much.. scholar company.. none of those typical smokers, ah bengs or dropouts.. instead, you get your mummy's boy, scholarship holders wannabe and straight As students.. yeah, so much for my company.. (hope no one's ready this though~)

so much have changed outside... RjC's finally built.. (well actually a long time ago).. its nice to see a brand new sch at a turn of a head from my seat. the clubhouse's toilets are upgraded (after 13 years), my toilet has a new rack... but some things still remain the same.. my table's still as messy.. erps.. guess some things will never change..

a very nice song tt i'll like to recommend.. nice beat...

就是爱你
by 陶吉吉 =)

我一直都想对你说你给我想不到的快乐像绿洲给了沙漠
说你会永远陪着我做我的根我翅膀让我飞也有回去的窝
我愿意我也可以付出一切也不会可惜
就在一起看时间流逝要记得我们相爱的方式
就是爱你爱着你有悲有喜有你平淡也有了意义
就是爱你爱着你甜蜜又安心那种感觉就是你
我一直都想对你说你给我想不到的快乐像绿洲给了沙漠
说你会永远陪着我做我的根我翅膀让我飞也有回去的窝
我愿意真的愿意付出所有也要保护你
Oh 在一起时间继续流逝请记得我有多么的爱你
Oh 就是爱你爱着你不弃不离开不在意一路有多少风雨
就是爱你爱着你放在你手心灿烂的幸福全给你
Oh 就是爱你爱着你我都愿意就是爱你爱着你要我们在一起

funny how i always try to blog on the day before i book in...

2005-01-06T03:14:00.000+08:00

recollections

we're funny things... we cherish what we have only when its running out.. its enlistment day tomorrow, or should i say later? haha doesn't matter, cos i can't sleep.. or rather, its because i know how important time is.. and i can't bear to let it slip away so cheaply by sleeping..

its been an eventful 2 years in hC.. i dare say i've learnt much more stuff in these 2 years than in my 10 years in primary and secondary school.. friends.. sports.. teachers.. they all carry a deeper meaning than the ones back in pri and sec sch.. i've learnt so much, yet i feel that there's again much more for me to explore.. then again, somehow i feel that we're beginners in the school of life. in the school of life, you learn by experiencing, you start by sharing your experiences, and you graduate when you're ready to start a new one of your own..

if you told me two years back i'll be the guy that i'm now, i'll probably pull back my head and laugh... i've definitely mellowed... used to be arrogant, inconsiderate and reckless... then again, i'm still pretty much the same old dennis back when i was six years old... cracking jokes and making people laugh... laughter somehow is my companion, i take joy in making people laugh... nothing can beat the sparkle in someone's eye, or that statisfaction knowing that you've brighten someone's day by telling a joke... and i've a confession... sometimes i make jokes that are crude, or cold jokes knowing that it'll fall flat on me... haha you guys may find me dumb.. haha but i enjoy doing that... knowing that you guys will... laugh (or at least smile =p)

and i'll be damned if i left hC without having left an impression on people.. sorry to all those who i've interfered with now and again... haha then again, i've always like interfering with other people's business.. its part of me i guess.. the idea of changing something for the better... kinda appeals to me...

dun like the idea of regret.... it sounds really horrible.. to look back and ponder over what might have been and what might have not been... so i try to give my best and ponder over choices available to me before i make them... regrets again... are horrible... the feeling is horrible... everything abt it is horrible... so please people.... do things you know that is right or for the better... you don't wanna waste time looking back... and regret...

its been an eventful 2 years in hC.. to all the friends that i've made... thank you for everything.. you've been a great bunch of people! haha hope tt i've touched your life one way or another... for the better or the worse.. can't really imagine what i'll be without you bunch of fellas so yeah... thankew again...

been thinking of what to do in e future... something that offers me satisfaction would be good... moral satisfaction... like what i always tell others... a doc? policeman? teacher? haha failing which i'll probably go and do banking and finance... dunnoe why.... but haha always had a dream of opening my own restautant or bakery... hahahahahaha.... i'll probably sell cookies, not pastries.. or european crusine, not chinese stuff.... mwahahah... still remember my first dream of opening a restaurant... a burger joint actually... a place where one can order his own custom burger... with his choice of patty, bun, veggie, dressing... sounds good and original rights? hahahahaha~ it'll be one of a kind...

dennis will be dennis. he'll be the clown in the middle of the circus.. he'll be the friend you have when in need.. dennis... will be dennis.. he'll never change... thats a promise he made to himself..

haha i'm gettin emotional again...

but its time so sleep...

and also time for NS...

so here i go~~~~

2005-01-02T19:10:00.000+08:00

happy new year!!

spending new year's eve in town waiting for the countdown wasn't exactly my idea of fun... the crowd was big... too big for my comfort... and there wasn't much to do anyway except stand and smile and shake your hips.. (the other highlight of the day was when i shared a can of foam with aK to spray at cliff, and when he snatched the can from us and simed wrongly, spraying himself =p), otherwise, yeah...

walked for eternity after the countdown at chijmes to lao pa sat.. haha its sure been a long time since i last spoke to my friends... was it last at the street soccer court? haha so there we were, the five of us eating, drinking and talking under a cloudy sky... haha tt was sure fun.. especially when we stayed till 3am...

left the place to continue our chapter of the vagrant's story.. ahaha cliff had to leave for his party (with his "cell"mates and of course, his girlfriend) and yeah.. yap left to go home... so yeah.. aK bert and i... the 3 vagrants...

and a vagrant's life can be so exciting... like wandering around the streets.. finding a suitable place to sleep or lie down... running away from the rain... finding even more places to sleep.. kicking bottles into the singapore river and nearly getting caught by some police patrol.. my idea of fun? definitely!! =)

sat at some stone stools next to the stanford hotel... tired.. but continued our conversation anyway.. the two of us, minus bert who was really exhausted i guess.. talked abt some guy stuff.. then abt army... you'll be surprised how much guys have to talked abt.. then dawn broke... and we shuffled our feet to the mrt station, beat, but happy (well at least for me) =)

2004-12-29T01:49:00.000+08:00

somehow i've lost a part of myself as i go down the steps of maturity.. its hard to pinpoint which part of it is lost.. my naivety, or is it my childishness? i'm not really sure.. and at 18 and going to NS next month, its kinda ironic when one steps on the path of manhood when he's unable to leave his childhood behind..

i have my own boyhood dreams and ambitions.. to be this and that.. to be there and then.. it makes me wonder though.. haha it amuses me sometimes.. will i give it all away? for a bigger salary and even bigger bonuses? it seems to me that people are rushing and doing stuff they think is important, but if they really took a timeout and think back about it... trivial, isn't it?

and what we've done so far.. does it really makes us happy? the little boy in me doesn't think so though.. i'm losing him i know.. slowing but gradually.. i'd already lost part of him when i started to make choices that people would want me choose... to do things that people would want me to do..

maybe i'll walk the path where i can make my own choices..

or maybe if i close my eyes it'll all go away..

but deep down..

i know i'm a little boy inside

2004-12-23T22:13:00.000+08:00

home.

it sure feels good to be home... even though it meant a long journey on a coach that is topped off with a jam at the causeway.. ohwells..

on a more serious note, i'm just glad to be safe back in singapore..

there's this incident in the cameron highlands that occured at the same time we were on our way home... a travel coach somehow lost control and fell into a deep ravine... couldn't imagine if it happened to us.. thank god it didn't.

i'm just.... thankful.

2004-12-16T22:57:00.000+08:00

haven't bloogg for a looong while... and it sure feels wierd typing on the keyboard again! haha ohwells. this post to keep me going.

watch this space!

2004-10-25T22:29:00.000+08:00

nostalgia

was taking a slow stroll out of the school compound, thinking about some stuff when i passed by the notice board. not any other noticeboard, but yeah, the volleyball noticeboard. ha the juniors did quite a good job of decorating the board... muz have been so, considering the buzz they were making on the day before the open house. ha and its full of photos too.

so naturally i stopped by to look. don't know what held me back then, cos i was rather looking forward to dinner. must be that feeling of nostalgia i suppose...

saw the team pic. all the familiar faces of ellery, jason, weeming, kenneth, tian han and gang... not forgetting the juniors... peng, shawn, wee kiat, kian, louis and many many more... it sure brought back pleasant memories of training and our team activities... haha we sure had a very good time then...

back then, we'll train from the late afternoon till its too dark to see the ball on weekdays. from noon to the early evenings on sat. after that, we'll go for a bath and later probably a drink at the nearby magehaven. we'll drink fruit coolers and eat french fries, cos they were the cheapest and we were always broke. then there'll be the kaobeing sessions we always had... ah poH and his butterfly, louis and his brother, tian han and his "friends" and peng with the "twins"... and who could leave out the team "bonding" sessions. haha sure was fun back then.

saw the girls team pic. haha was thinking how that i knew most of them, yet spoke so little with them. my "sisters", the trio of yanfang, yaying and joy (and in order of height too!). then got yirong, jiahui, grace... not forgetting lingwei, yingyi, jiayan and peixian... haha you guys were nice! then again, the seniors once mentioned that the our batch didn't really gell very well, compared to 'em and the juniors. and this i suppose should be one of our greatest regrets... haha but those that i knew, they turned out to be rather swell. =)

then saw pictures of our juniors. well just can't stop praising them enough... they've got spunk i sure can say... everyone was rather crestfallen when we lost to NY (the eventual champions), some tearing after the match. was as if something had been cruelly snatched away from us, yet there's still some team spirit in this gung-ho gang of guys and girls... haha next year next year... do work hard on it k? i'm with all of ya all to the end!

saw a picture of me and peng. haha right on top of the board summore. haha maybe i should specially single him out for a special mention. ha and to think of how blur he was in the first few month of hC. back then, he was somewhat worried that he couldn't make it into hC, especially when he was from bP. (no discrimination there!) but he still made it in the end. all that worry for nothing~ still remember the times where would would just sit down and talk and talk with the guys or just alone... and he was always worried about his studies... just glad that he made a smooth transition here =)

must have stood at the board for quite sometime before something rumbled. and no it wasn't the sky but my stomach. tore my eyes from e board and left. just like that.

volleyball. more that a simple ball game.

2004-10-10T22:57:00.000+08:00

the story of the little fool

the little fool felt somewhat hungry after a hard day of work. it was ten plus at that time, and after checkin' that he has sufficient money (well just barely sufficient), he went for a drink of water and following that, down to the kopitiam, without checkin' his wallet...

so he took the elevator, crossed the road and down along the unlit pathway, oblivious to the surroundings. near the kopitiam, he whipped out his wallet and counted his money. to his horror, he couldn't find that two dollar note he thought he kept in his wallet.

counting, countin', he realised that he had onli two seventy, while the cheapest dish available on hand was the two eighty pork chop rice. feelin' stupid, he walked all the way to the "nearby" atm to withdraw his money. feelin' statisfied, he started to keep his money and took out his wallet.

walking, walkin', he was thinkin what to eat later when he flipped his wallet over. lo and behold what was there glaring at him?

well you guessed it.

a two dollar note.

wait.

this isn't a story about a little fool

this is a story about me =)

2004-09-29T18:08:00.000+08:00

and they said fools rush in where angels fear to tread...

the exams may be over, but there's this certain emptyness in me. somehow i feel like i've been hit with a hurricane, it happened so fast, so hard, so painful. i feel spent, but not broken. dejected, but not devestated. but somehow, i feel thankful for all that has happened.. there's always a time for everything, maybe not now, maybe next time. so we ought to look to a brighter side of the picture. memento mori, i keep telling myself.

sometimes i feel really scared at the way how the fast the pace of our lifes are startin to pick up. there's our prelims, a breathing space inbetween, then its off for the As. after which i'll probably get to enjoy the whole month of december, before being enlisted in jan next year. then the army. then university. then the great unknown.

yet again, its often the unknown that gets to my nerves. it ain't the first time that i'm gonna live and think out of my confort zone (or so they say), but i can't really forsee what's gonna happen during that period of time. haha maybe i shouldn't think so far. maybe i should concentrate on living my life in the present.

but you'll always wanna plan ahead don't you.

and guess what?

i've ran into a wall

.

2004-09-12T21:31:00.000+08:00

good luck everyone! =)

2004-09-08T23:56:00.000+08:00

day three...

... of muggin... its been three continuous days of serious studying. muggin muggin, there's no end to it i suppose. i've set some targets for myself, at least a BBEE for this prelims... (maybe i should revise it lower after chem pract...) its kinda a huge target to aim for, so i'd had better work hard.. erps...

anyway today was another relatively borin' day. had this craving for the cinnamon bread for simply bread near six avenue. so went there first thing in the morning to buy. took a "walk" back to school. reached school. then found out the council had a rehersal for MAF, so they were kinda like blaring out the music.. found it hard to concentrate... who could? so went down and luckily xizhen was there to help me talk to the people in charge, so that they could lower the volume.. thanks thanks :D

went to eat dinner with choon boon at prince. we were acting very very erm.. horny. ya dunno why but maybe was because of some erm girls there. haha damn funny. were discussing some stuff when he told me some very disturbing news... shall not comment, but i was quite shocked when he told me... almost couldn't believe it.. haiz.

den was back to more studyin but by then, i'd already lost most of my motivation... haha so did maths and went home with jianbin and boon.

by the way, we've formed a mooncake eating competition team. by we, i mean choon boon, chuan wei and i. and we've got the strategy all worked out.. mmm... can't wait for mAF~

2004-09-06T23:19:00.000+08:00

busy...

been a really hectic weekend for me... sometimes i surprise myself, at how long i can just sit down there to do some really serious work.. and who said all work and no play makes someone dull? making loads of friends in the readin room, igniting old friendships and such... you know what? i think i might be fallin in love with studyin.. ha..

all that aside, today was a rather enlightening day. for once, jianbin albert, choon boon and i went for lunch at this new eatery next to thai noodle house. lo and behold guess who we saw there? Mr. Potong Pasir Chiam See Tong himself.. haha i was in awe and almost gawking... kept feelin that i should have brought my camera along... the others didn't recognize him initially and jianbin kept pointing and sprouting questions on who he was rather loudly... think mr chiam also got quite embarassed.. anyway he drank a hot drink and left, just like that... aha so much for celebrity sightings... anyway, the food there is quite nice too. the portions are quite big (for rice dishes) so i'd think i'll be going back there again..

after that was more muggin sessions till 9. uncle chong was quite late, which was quite unusual for him as he usually arives five~ten mins early.. than chuanwei and gang were like speculatin' about all the conspiracy theories... i'd think they'll make quite a good book to read.. left the place without seeing him, so wondered what happened to him...

anyway that so much from me..

wakin at 8 am tml.
going to sch at nine.
reachin home at ten.
so much for a life.

2004-08-31T20:34:00.000+08:00

the world's greatest~

here's a "feel good" song by R. Kelly for all you those that have been muggin realli hard for e prelims... work hard and add oil! =p

I am a mountain
I am a tall tree
Ohhh, I am a swift wind
Sweepin' the country
I am a river
Down in the valley
Ohhh, I am a vision
And I can see clearly
If anybody asks u who I am
Just stand up tall look 'em in the Face and say

[Chorus]
I'm that star up in the sky
I'm that mountain peak up high
I made it
I'm the worlds greatest
And I'm that little bit of hope
When my backs against the ropes
I can feel it mmm
I'm the worlds greatest

I am a giant
I am an eagle
Ohhh,I am a lion
Down in the jungle
I am a marchin' band
Ohhh,I am the peopleI am a helpin' hand
And I am a hero
If anybody asks u who I am
Just stand up tall look 'em in the Face and say

[Chorus]
I'm that star up in the sky
I'm that mountain peak up high
Hey I made it
I'm the worlds greatest
And I'm that little bit of hope
When my backs against the ropes
I can feel it
I'm the worlds greatest

2004-08-23T19:42:00.000+08:00

transition?

funny how i'd always been hearin' this word... in many contextes, it would have been to go through a period of change, but this word will always have a special meanin to me.

its been funny year this year.. dunnoe why when it gets to the second half of the year, you often hear about people havin' been afflicted down with diseases or have become terminally ill.. it was like this last year, and its no difference this year..

mdm toh called in this mornin... her dad had a heart attack... dunnoe about the scale of it, but bless the poor man.. he's always been a pillar of strength to her, and she'd always did keep mentionin abt him in one of the many stories she always did tell in class. i do hope that its something minor though...

it kinda brings back bitter memories, when i lost my godpa to some cancer and my grandma to old age last year.

godpa, we(and my sisters) used to call him "kai3 ye3" in cantonese... would always remember how he would give his advice on whatever we were doin... he was our neighbour, so we did always go over to visit him durin chinese new year and christmas, where he would buy presents for us... he was a great man, probably one of my role models in life. and he's gone.

grandma was another sad case.. somehow i feel that she was a tragic character.. though she stayed with us for over ten years when i was young, and the fact that she had five children, she was left in a nursing home in the later part of her years... i kinda feel bad, b'cos she really was a nice, quaint old lady who took very good care of me.. but due to some disagreements between my parents and our uncles... (though i got the impressions that my uncle were due to blame)

remembered there was one day when i received a phone call from my mom, askin me to go visit her in the hospital.. but since i had some cip at the bird park, i'd told her "tomorrow then"... never realising that i would never get the chance to, as she passed away in the evening... this was one of my great regrets in my life, and has always been so..

so dear readers, do take some time to go have a nice chat with your loved ones... life is short, so do spend it wisely. god bless.

2004-08-22T20:09:00.000+08:00

And so how history repeats itself..

2004-08-17T23:49:00.000+08:00

expectations?

its a sad sad day for singapore, really.. ronald lost. singapore lost. guess it really wasn't his day, i suppose... his opponent was playin the game of his life... the net kept gettin in the way... and all the unforced errors... maybe it was all due to stress? bad luck? or maybe the heavy burden that we chose go give him when we named him as the man-who-would-give-us-gold.. but i'd still believed you gave your best.. if you fail, keep trying.. there's still plenty more chances for you to go.. team singapore.. you still have a fan in me~

p/s: hope your girlfriend manages to pull it off tonight.. jiayou! =p

2004-08-08T19:05:00.000+08:00

dud..

i like the feelin of stayin at home.. eatin home-cooked meals and sharing the solitute with my computer or the tV. somehow.. there usually are lotsa activities to do.. just take todae for example... either to go for some national day dinner or to watch the fireworks... but somehow these events don't really excite me as they used to do a couple of years back. haha.. i'd rather cook my own pasta.. do some work.. practice my guitar... they do seem to have their certain allures...

then again, sitting alone in front of the computer got me contemplatin abt me future.. sitting alone always has got me thinkin'

come to think of it.. if there weren't any expectations of me... i'll rather be a chef than be in other well paying jobs... its somethin tt's been in me.. i've always been interested in cookin... the feelin of cookin somethin and others eatin it happily... it sure goes down well with me. you know, it doesn't really matter that i sweat or toil just to make something... and there's no point in eatin somethin great alone. i'd rather share the fruits of my labour.. the joy of cookin as they say, can't be seen but only felt.. and i'd always lurve cookin' since i was young. at one point i was even contemplating goin for cookin lessons... especially european and japanese cuisines. haha.. then these would always be what it would be.. a dream.. probably never to be fufilled...

unhappy thoughts always make me sad. then again who won't? well guess its time for some happy thoughts: dinner =)

just some random thoughts leaving my head~

2004-08-04T21:49:00.000+08:00

heard this once over mtv... tt time was sung by avril lavigne.. dunnoe why but somehow i feel for this song... kinda got this real sad feelin behind it... mmm~

Knockin' on Heaven's Door - Bob Dylan

Mama, take this badge off of me
I can't use it anymore.
It's gettin' dark, too dark for me to see
I feel like I'm knockin' on heaven's door.

Knock, knock, knockin' on heaven's door
Knock, knock, knockin' on heaven's door
Knock, knock, knockin' on heaven's door
Knock, knock, knockin' on heaven's door

Mama, put my guns in the ground
I can't shoot them anymore.
That long black cloud is comin' downI feel like
I'm knockin' on heaven's door.

Knock, knock, knockin' on heaven's door
Knock, knock, knockin' on heaven's door
Knock, knock, knockin' on heaven's door
Knock, knock, knockin' on heaven's door

2004-07-31T21:26:00.000+08:00

homecoming carnival 2004

hC had her homecoming carnival todae, a congregation of old and young from the past and present in the school to celebrate her 30th birthdae..

was quie fun and i thought it was held very much sucessfully, except for the rain which was a real letdown... weiming was tellin me how someone was sayin the rain was a punishment for changin the sch name... 'niway it drizzled for nearly four hours... in the end some stalls had a really small turnover..

started the day with an openin' ceremony and a concert that was quite impressive... especially with the dances and wushu... then went for the carnival. the stalls one the whole was quite impressive, considering that the games stall had a relatively exciting concepts. went around the place with aK and gang... hahaz the food was good too, especially brownies from the canoeing stall.. hahaa kinda got conned by still... the tasted great~ the dunking station was another crowd puller... hahaz kinda saw many people gettin' dunked... mr pang, mrs chin down to a whole slew of my friends... was laughin away at the many comic moments... you really have to see to believe~

oh ya. then i bought a nice blue metallic water bottle... comes with a real nice pouch too =p

the school cancelled our volleyball friendly todae... coz they had a match on friday... haiz... was quite disappointed cos was quite geared up for the game... too bad it was rainin' too.. floor was wet den still haf to mop the water... hahahaz ended up playin ball with the j1s, some j2s and melissa and gang who were nice enough to take time to come play vball with us... played for a while, with the girls giggling like crazy whenever we/they hit/miss a ball... hahaz was quite a riot... hahaz it sure brought back good memories... then eL and wee ming decided that was quite enough and left... stayed around, talk to some of the seniors and watch the girls play vball... haha... so much for a friendly match =)

stayed till around 4 plus.

went to toa payoh with aK for a while coz he wanted to bank in money.. walked around the place for a while then bought a book... "the curious incident of the dog in the night-time" hahaz think i'm gettin addicted to books like in primary sch... went to cd rama. had half a mind to grab and leave the place with the new jay chou promotional poster... 3rd august.... its long wait...

went home after that.

did somethin that i tot was quite embarassin'... haha.. haha... haha... ^_^

2004-07-27T17:49:00.000+08:00

added qi li xiang to my background music =)

2004-07-26T19:32:00.000+08:00

haircut

got that much wanted haircut today.. mr barber was apparently quite shocked when i told him i wanted a 2mm hairdo.. kinda pained me to see all of my crops fallin before my eyes... heart was cringin too.. ha.. but then its somethin that i've been really thinkin of doin for such a long time.. haha..

so passed the old shell and here comes the new.. this thought was ringin in my mind.. and thus a new change for me. a welcome one.. this hairdo shall be a reminder for me to follow my principles and dreams.. ahaha.. sounds a little crappy... but its as good as it gets =)

heard qi li xiang again.. man can't wait for the 3rd of august..

2004-07-25T00:53:00.000+08:00

walks..

kinda surprised by what you can get when you go for a simple walk down the neighbourhood.. hmm.. went to collect my now repaired handphone from the service centre... juz a simple walk i thought.. haha who knew there's so much activity buzzing around that area?

there was a line dance session for supposedly the elderly... many of whom actually looked very young for once.. alas... it had to be interrupted by the rain.. not that it affected another group of old men playin checkers at the void deck of some flats.. ha they used to play chinese chess.. but now change to checkers.. dunnoe why.. den i remembered how i used to stand and watch them play chess durin primary sch... kinda bring back all the good old memories..

the rain wasn't realli big.. more of a drizzle... the soft droplets were kinda like playful touches on my skin... was feelin in the mood so i took a slow walk in the rain.. call me dumb... but it was realli fun..

wanted to eat out cos mum was at batam for a short holiday but decided against it.. but some ngor hiongs as a side dish at shop n save den went home.. (in the rain no less)

dinner was homemade pasta with campbell's soup served as a sauce with the fried ngorr hiongs... sometimes i wonder if i add cheese to the sauce would it taste nicer? maybe a pinch of herbs and all.. wadever.. shall experiment tml.

feels dead borin now... practising the guitar till my hands hurt.. oh yeah.. i can play stand by me.. finally =)

2004-07-20T20:35:00.000+08:00

so say i'm gonna take a gun and start a war

finally got back all my papers.. bleah.. did really horribly... especially in bio and econs... didn't really help that i've been failin bio all the while.. then mrs foo got me thinkin when she addressed the problems with our class.. felt abit helpless as cT rep... especially when i was supposed to be leadin em'. kinda missed last year where shawn was the cT rep... he did a brilliant job unlike me now... haha.. budden i guess i ain't that vocal with my thoughts anyway... think maybe the burden is startin' to get on my nerves.. cham...

suddenly had this thought of shavin' off my hair.. kinda on impulse.. as always... ya know like its supposed to signify a new beginning or something? i've never been more serious in my life.. there's certain aspects of me that i'm not really happy with myself.. and it ain't solely due to my studies... ... ... guess i need a new direction now at this point ba.. ha..

dunnoe why i keep tellin others to relax and dun think too much over things when i'm doin the exact opposite.. argh.. dennis dennis... time to be back the good old dumb you..

dumb? i guess i am. and i lurve it =)

song of the day

dreaming in red - the callin'

Once upon a time
Somewhere far away from here
I was drowning in a deep sleep
I got no ground beneath my feet
And there's so many faces
I'm New York and I'm Japan
There's so many things that I want to know
But I'll never understand...

[CHORUS]

Now I'm dreaming in red
Just drifting away
I'm dreaming in red
Come and take me away

I just got to get it right
Before I make it wrong
Cause I'm breaking out and rising up
While the world is falling down...

[CHORUS]

I see the sun behind the night, sky
One last moment before I say goodbye...
Once upon a time
Somewhere far away from here...

[CHORUS]

2004-07-14T21:48:00.000+08:00

crossroads

sometimes you reach a point in your life where you start wonderin' about the infinite paths that are laid out in front of you... the pathway to success, friendship, even love are all there.. if you know which one to tread.

and i think i've reach that certain point.. no point being kiddy and clueless about what the future might hold in store for me.. better if i can juz grasp hold of what i want, now and forever..

but i think i'm afraid.. this sense of trepidation.. and it's makin me afraid to even step out of the darkness.. doesn't really help that i'm doin this alone.. so many choices, so many paths.. to go or not to go? i'm really unsure.. and all this has to be the lowest part of my life..

suddenly i think of all the games i played on my pS.. especially my favourite Final Fantasy series... come to think of it.. all e leads were on a route which they knew not of the endings.. from cloud, squall, zidane to even tidus.. oh well.. at least they had their happy endings.

they say that there's a silver lining behind every dark cloud.. and yet i'm puttin down my all on the same silver lining.. regardless whether it exists or not.. but what i do know.. is that i'll keep hoping and dreamin and believin'.. and one day i'll be able to write a chapter of success in that never ending book of life..

=p

2004-07-14T00:34:00.000+08:00

Two beds and a coffee machine
by: savage garden

And she takes another step
Slowly she opens the door
Check that he is sleeping
Pick up all the broken glass and furniture on the floor

Been up half the night screaming now it's time to get away
Pack up the kids in the car
Another bruise to try and hide
Another alibi to write

Another ditch in the road
You keep moving
Another stop sign
You keep moving on
And the years go by so fast
Wonder how I ever made it through

And there are children to think of
Baby's asleep in the backseat
Wonder how they'll ever make it through this living nightmare
But the mind is an amazing thing

Full of candy dreams and new toys and another cheap hotel
Two beds and a coffee machine
But there are groceries to buy
And she knows she'll have to go home

Another ditch in the road
You keep moving
Another stop sign
You keep moving on
And the years go by so fast
Wonder how I ever made it through

Another bruise to try and hide
Another alibi to write
Another lonely highway in the black of the night
But there's hope in the darkness
You know you're going to make it

Another ditch in the road
You keep moving
Another stop sign
You keep moving on
And the years go by so fast
Silent fortress built to last

Wonder how I ever made it

2004-07-10T19:57:00.000+08:00

missing..

lost my wallet today.

argh.. went through a whole load of crap todae.. felt much better now though.. hopefully someone will find it and it'll come back again.. haha... who am i kiddin? ha.. can't imagine how dumb i felt when i noticed it was gone. can't even remember how i dropped it.. oh well.. no use broodin over e past.. haha at least i get to go get a new wallet and a nicer pic on tt's dumb eZ-link card.. =p

anyway like to thank woon and ys for helpin me cope wif this "mid-life" crisis.. argh.. thanks for accompanying me to e police post n stuff.. you guys got me feelin realli better =)

2004-07-07T20:21:00.000+08:00

happy day

there's this joy in me today. this positive energy encircling myself. this sudden urge to hug my fellow friend and family.. haha.. and i'm lovin it =)

2004-07-07T00:30:00.000+08:00

bad dae..

had a really screwed up day today.. kinda bad cos i didn't really check the timetable for bio prac.. everyone knew it was at 7.30 but we didn't know where to gather.. ended up everyone went for assembly and got late by over twenty mins.. got blasted by mrs tan and now everyone will have marks deducted... darn.. can't help feelin tt's its all my fault.. went to apologize to everyone but tt didn't take the feelin away.. didn't help when everybody said "its not your fault".. tt made me even worse.. tolong .. realli sorry 3s71..

screwed up the prac cos i forgot the read the questions.. ended up fakin' the results for question one.. hah.. guess it wasn't realli my day then..

den went to send liwei off to germany at night. almost all e guys were dere.. haha.. no tearful goodbyes though.. kelvin and us all went to bK to have a drink.. den at 10 it was time for him to leave.. haha.. dunnoe why people take so long to say goodbye.. cos i used to think that a quick goodbye would be e best.. no draggy emotions and stuff.. but there's probably something in long goodbyes that i never saw in before.. especially with all the waving and huggin.. maybe tt ain't my type.. mmm..

went home alone (hmm..) cos the guys went to sleep over at zZ's house.. ha tot it wouldn't be nice if too many people stay, especially with the mad rush for the loo in the mornin.. ga.. better go to sleep soon~

2004-07-04T22:46:00.000+08:00

happy euro 2004

this post is gonna be a soccer one.. yeah~

can't believe that tonight's gonna be e night thats going to end all the soccer fever that's been sweeping over e world.. ha.. the finals man.. who woulda haf guessed that e 1st game of e tournament would be e last? ha..

kudos for e greeks for coming this far.. contary to what my friends and what i initially felt, they really deserved to come this far.. portugal's been another dark horse of this tournment... bettin' wise they brought back 'orrible memories... nightmares realli.. cos i remember e first time i betted with my friend in sec 4.. durin e world cup.. supposed u all can guess la... i kinda got conned to throwing a -2.5 advantage... (for all non punters out there it's means portugal to win my 3 or more goals) ended with pie all over my face and a lighter pocket to date.. -bleah-

kinda gotten sick of punting.. been 'donating' at least $20 to e singapore pools... haha tink i've done enough of 'charity' for e year.. so my take tonight? i'm gonna enjoy e finals with pizza on one hand and erm... barley water on e other... all that in the company of my... erm mother =)

so thats it for tonight... hope to see a free flowing game later... and ya... and happy euro 2004 final! =p

2004-06-30T21:31:00.000+08:00

dilemma

todae quite an okie dae.. prac wasn't tt hard, though some people felt otherwise.. went to study while wif aK.. he lent me his F.I.R. cd.. quite zai... the lead singer does sing like the one from Do As Infinity, one of my fav. jpop rock band.. haha..

as i was sayin.. there's holland vs portugal tonite.. but too bad la.. quite cham most probably cannot watch cos tml go bio and maths paper... den again.. i really haven't been watchin the dutch play in euro so far.. overslept for 2 of their matches.. would be pretty sad if they get knocked out, so i've decided.. haha.. most probably will wake up at 4 to watch... hahaz den mug abit for bio den go to sch... hopefully dun oversleep again..

tml bloody long dae.. waaa sianzzzzzzzzz

2004-06-28T20:42:00.000+08:00

gp dae..

had gp in the mornin.. quite do-able i suppose.. had a constant stomache through out the whole paper.. i always get stomache whenever i feel somewhat stressed, or rushin for time.. call it a "gut" feelin.. bah.. wasn't feelin in the right state of mind after the test, especially after shawn and liwei indulged in some intellectual talk and then i found out i got the focus of my aQ wrong... cham lar...

went for lunch at prince, den went to buy another set of sch uniform cos i lost a pair of pants in sch.. felt quite shagged by that time so decided to go back home.. on the way dunnoe why got this urged to buy dis cD by oCean oh de yang.. hahaz ended up spendin the money i saved for keane's album... the album not bad.. his voice quite clear and most songs meaningful..

muz prep for chem and econs tml.. =(

2004-06-26T19:19:00.000+08:00

the computer's back =)

everyone's out at some celebratory dinner (my aunt won 4D) while i spend time alone at hoem, chillin out... dunnoe why i dun feel like goin' out.. had a holiday of mixed sorts.... spent most of em muggin... so i guess its time for some -quality- time with myself..

can't really remember when was the last time i spent sometime alone.. so today's one of those days .. well then come to think of it, being alone isn't realli me i suppose.. i'm more of a herd animal yeah? can't realli imagine myself being alone doin' stuff.. used to hate having to wait alone or wake up to an empty house... ha tt's going a very long way back.. a little bit of trivia abt me... hehez i'm very careless.. remember how i used to gawk at toys or cartoon when i was small and always managed to lost myself~ always had to wanderer around b4 finally being found by my parents..

ironically so, i'm actually enjoyin' chillin out tonight at home... there's so much stuff tt i'd haven't done online... guess it's a blessing that the com decided to take a holiday.. me was able to concentrate and mug.. muggin and muggin.. tt's e mantra of these hols. i'd supposed that i could go on and ramble abt it, then again, maybe not

jet's been playin a real nicee song called -look what you've done- lately... hehez think maybe i'd go back to work after the player stop playin tt song. then again, hehez. it's on replay. then again, maybe not.. stomach's growling... think it's time for some home-cooked pasta by moi =)

"don't waste your time on me. you're already the voice inside my head" - 182

2004-06-18T03:06:00.000+08:00

com down wif a virus...
argh...

2004-06-11T22:04:00.000+08:00

ode to Mr. Ho Chong Liang [?~2004]

dear mr ho,

everything came to a sudden halt when i heard the news of your passing. it was out of the blue, that a teacher like you that was so active and vibrant during our secondary 1~2 days, and it struck me especially hard when my friend broke me the news.

i still remember the days where you took over in secondary 1 when your wife had to go for early labour. then in sec 2 when you took over our class' chinese lesson. everyone had so much fun then. especially with your sense of humour. we'll never forget the jokes you cracked. the care and concern that you showered us when we were down and out. the hot days you braved with us in camps and in school events. the assignments that you marked. and the chicken drumsticks that we demanded.

so much have changed then. almost 4 years have passed since sec 2. we're all independant now. yet you had to be struck down with an illness such as cancer. it must have been tough on you and your family then, and it must have been very hard for them now too. it is with remorse that we didn't get to spend much time closer than before. come to think of it, the last time we had a real chat was over my ailing chinese composition grade in sec 2. haha. but i never forgotten the times where we juz stop and chatted about our lives in sec 3~4. yes. you were someone i trusted and respect.

i'm sorry that i wasn't there to see you during your last moments. you sure must have hoped to see us. i'm sorry for all the horrible essays and illegible comprehensions that you must have dreaded to mark. it's not too late to apologize i hope, isn't it?

i wish that i could turn back time. i believe that many of us wish that we could. you'll only miss someone when they're gone. alas. who would have know. nevertheless it is time to move on. words just can't describe the pain in my heart. we'll miss you mr. ho. always. you'll always be in our hearts.

regards,
your dearest "xiao-jie"

2004-06-10T21:50:00.000+08:00

one of my more favourite songs on my playlists... a great song for all seasons. enjoy =)

the scientistby coldplay

Come up to meet ya, tell you I'm sorry
You don't know how lovely you are
I had to find you, tell you I need ya
And tell you I set you apart
Tell me your secrets, and nurse me your questions
Oh lets go back to the start
Running in circles, coming in tails
Heads on a science apart
Nobody said it was easy
It's such a shame for us to part
Nobody said it was easy
No one ever said it would be this hard
Oh take me back to the start

I was just guessing at numbers and figures
Pulling the puzzles apart
Questions of science, science and progress
Do not speak as loud as my heart
And tell me you love me, come back and haunt me
Oh and I rush to the start
Running in circles, chasing tails
Coming back as we are

Nobody said it was easy
Oh it's such a shame for us to part
Nobody said it was easy
No one ever said it would be so hard
I'm going back to the start

2004-06-08T22:33:00.000+08:00

cIp day =)

feel like it's time for a nice long bloggie... tink i'm addicted =)

woke up at 7am in the mornin to do cIp... eL's bro came to fetch us there so we saved sum travellin time... ended up reaching there (great eastern centre) earli cos i "sumhow" forgot to tell him that the meetin time change liao... had time on hand so went to hong lim market to eat breakfast.

tt place somehow seems to always be able to bring back memories. from the smelly market to the hoteh hawkers at the second floor... can't believe it's been like 1 year since i went there... .hahaz remembered that i've been going there since pri 1 since my parent's shop was in the area...

eL wasn't hungry so he juz drank soya bean, while i had tt and prawn mee... hahaz the aunty was still the same old aunty from primary one... hahaz tink that was the first stall i ever ordered from (or was it the laksa stall?) it tasted great as usual... cheap as usual... soup was thick and ingredients aplenty... hahahz fooodie is my faV =)

den went to heartware to help out with the mascot's attire. had to cheong to PS, made it there in 15 mins.

would like to thanks 3 great people, william, amanda and choo min who was enthu eunff to attact lotsa people around them. they were polite too... hahaz... den again, william ah... next time dun come late... summore nvr eat still muz give you time to eat.... hahaz oh well...

felt kinda guilty cos eL and i were shoppin, eatin and muggin at starbucks.... den eL suggested we get them drinks and we shared the cost... hahaz made us felt less guilty... they were perspiring alot when we stayed cool... sorry sorry... tolong... we'll contribute next time k?

eL left earli... hopE it goes well for him tonight =)

den had debrief at taka.

went to kino for a while. looked at the many tarot cards on display... over 30 patterns summore... but all 20++= haahz so quite ex. den looked at some books on display form the religion section... books on mary magdelene and the knights templar... muz remember to save $ and buy... been interested in the "alternate" side of christianity ever since i read -the da vinci code-... hahaz =)

went to buy a shirt at taka den left.

tired but happy dae.

tml zZ wants me to go sch mug.... hahaz zZ... finally takin e 1st step =) gambatte =)

2004-06-07T20:05:00.000+08:00

'orrible day

had a splitting headache... hahaz tt's wad you get when you dun get enuff slp... hahaz went to do sum econ's revision's at jiali's hse with shawn and gang.... dead tired and almost sleepy... was lethargic most of the time except lunchtime... hahaz got japanese curry... hahaz tasted almost as good as the one my mom makes... ate 2 servings of rice and after tt... felt EVEN more sleepy... went to take a half hour nap den continued all the way until 4...

wanted to go sch to mug too... but since too late liao so went home straight... looks like the next time can go would be on wed liao lor... sianz... den tml gort cIP so going to heartware in the mornin (9 am), den gotta go plaza singapura to oversee the whole publicity event wif eL... all the way till 6pm. den tml he got "parent meet boyfriend" session so he leaving earlier... =( means i gotta be alone from 3-6... die la... haiz... den go PS mug liao lor liddat...

shag man... now cannot sleep dunnoE why... argh...

2004-06-06T22:31:00.000+08:00

world record

at least it's one that holds for me. 37.5 hrs, no sleep and i'm still going on... hehez would be a waste if i didn't even blog abt it =)

the bbq/sleepover at mich's hse was realli cool. bbq was good, the facilities were cool... hahaz wad more could i ask for? bbq was super fun. nothing could ever, ever beat the feeling of bbqing food for others to eat. there's this joy in seeing others chomping on food that you cooked. a joy so addictive that i went to bbq food all the way till the food ran out. rest of the night was fun too. too bad i had to type some meeting minutes during the sleepover so couldn't have more fun. heh. had a minor fright when there was a blackout though. no light in the middle of the night. hahaz turned out that we all went to watch the latest jack neo movie.

show was quite cool. farnie. losta colourful hokkien language... understood bits and parts of the show... thank god the subtitles... hohoz... kinda predictable though... but again got me thinkin on the dark side of man's greed... he took the right path out fortunately =) can't help wishing that i could brush up on my hokkien...

went back, slacked around till earli morn... den went to eat breakfast at delifrance... went to kino for a while. couldn't stop looking at the tarot cards on offer. $69. with a guide. . . . . .

den went to so CIP stuff. hahaz publicity for divA la futbol gettin more hiong, espically w/o a nite's rest. dead tired, drowsy at the meetin... hahaz stayed all the way till 7+ to finish up the referee's attire...

tired tired day.

2004-06-03T23:09:00.000+08:00

got my OBS letter back todae, the one that we all wrote during our solo night in ubin.... hahaz luckily you remembered to mail us back the letter melvin... it's been a long six months since i last step in OBS.... my how things have changed...

i sounded cold and tired out there, on the 15th of November 2003. botak, cold, hungry.... man those days were the pits... solo night in the middle of nowhere, with the insects and rain as friends... sounded very weak. yes. i probably was weak then. probably still am...

6 months then have since passed. i read the letter with a grin, after all, how often do you get to read a letter addressed to you by yourself? hahaz the questions i asked myself were childish i suppose... in a way i still am... hahaz... was complainin abt the food. how i missed my bed. then how i encouraged myself. gosh i still blush when i read the letter... better keep it carefully... would be 'orrible if sis ever catches hold of it. hahaz guess i'm still the same ole me. maybe i'd grown up. maybe a little =p

last question i asked myself was the story between Yuna and Tidus. how their story did end. sad to say i still dun know wads happen between them... maybe if i'd had the time, i'll find out more... hahez

oh well. better get back to work =)

2004-05-29T22:27:00.000+08:00

i feel like giving up now.

i'm so angry. so angry that i wish i could kill. it's been happening for more than one year already. they shout. they quarrel. now they fight. i'm mad with her. more than anyone else. she refuses to listen. turns down our advice. shuts out all for us. she only longs to go out, be with her fiends. i'm mad. realli mad.

fuck you. fuck you for all the shit that you've gave me.

if only this would end.

2004-05-28T01:14:00.000+08:00

sometimes you feel like doin sumthin. something you realli wanna do it, knowin that it might make a positive or negative impact on your life. but then... it always seem so hard to make it happen. sure, it might take onli a few words and gestures to pull it off. somehow, the fear of rejection, the feeling of failure, the sense of hopelessness always seems so go get in the way. should i or should i not?

That is the question.

or maybe a whole load of gibberish

2004-05-25T22:45:00.000+08:00

juz came back from my some distant relative's funeral... my cousin's paternal grandmother to be exact... place was very very far away, some place in bedok. spent the nite eating peanuts and drinking cold water... how was that for you? well, at least got to talk with my cousins and anuts and uncles =p ... was walking back home with mum and sis when suddenly, memories of last year started to flow back into my mind... of the times when my godfather, then my grandmother passed away. wasn't pleasant thoughts, but enought to make me cringe... aiyoz... no matter what, there's always a place for them in my heart... sad... but true.

darn. having a 3hr psychometric test tml... yikes...

2004-05-22T13:51:00.000+08:00

woke up earli todae, so to catch a glimpse of mrs foo and her new son.

left hse at 8 todae and took 156 to clementi interchange.... had my breakfast there... there's this super duper stall selling roast stuff... -shao la- as sum would call it... realli not the char siew there the best in the world... texture was dark red and slightly burnt, my favourite kind, and taste was hoteh, chewy and tender... probably the best i've ever eaten so far...

was around 9 before our klazmates managed to gather ourselves... onli 6 of us? quite pathetic, den we were on our way. supposed to meet her at 9.30. ended up reaching there at around 10.15 liddat. took the wrong bus, den took bus back to terminal den change bus. got lost and trekked all the way, before realising that the bus we took was the correct one. sianz

well mrs foo's boi was a v.cute one. saw him slpin peacefully in his cot. then he suddenly wailed and cry... quite loud... hahaz he's sooo unpredictable... crying, den sulkingm den smiling... hahaz makes me wonder how mine will look like... well... talked with mrs foo for a while, before leaving at around eleven....

yuansheng and xingni went to catch a movie, so the rest went to eat lunch. den went home. den mom told me tt i've got a funeral wake to attend... my uncle's mom passed away... argh... be missing the FA cup final... tt's e pits...

2004-05-20T23:18:00.000+08:00

avril lavigne... can't get enough of her~

MY HAPPY ENDING

oh oh, oh oh, So much for my happy ending,
oh oh, oh oh, So much for my happy ending,
Oh oh, oh oh, oh oh

Let's talk this over
It's not like we're dead
Was it something I did?
Was it something You said?
Don't leave me hanging
In a city so dead
Held up so high
On such a breakable thread

You were all the things I thought I knew
And I thought we could be

CHORUS
You were everything, everything that I wanted
We were meant to be, supposed to be, but we lost it
All of the memories, so close to me, just fade away
All this time you were pretending
So much for my happy ending
oh oh, oh oh, so much for my happy ending
Oh oh, oh oh

You've got your dumb friends
I know what they say
(they say)
They tell you I'm difficult
But so are they
(so are they)
But they don't know me
Do they even know you?
All the things you hide from me
All the shit that you do
(all the shit that you do)
You were all the things I thought I knew
And I thought we could be

CHORUS

It's nice to know that you were there
Thanks for acting like you cared
And making me feel like I was the only one
It's nice to know we had it all
Thanks for watching as I fall
And letting me know we were done

He was everything, everything that I wanted
We were meant to be, supposed to be, but we lost it
All of the memories, so close to me, just fade away
All this time you were pretending
So much for my happy ending
oh oh, oh oh, oh oh, oh oh
Oh oh, oh oh

You were everything, everything that I wanted
We were meant to be, supposed to be, but we lost it
All of the memories, so close to me, just fade away
All this time you were pretending
So much for my happy ending
oh oh, oh oh, so much for my happy ending
Oh oh, oh oh, so much for my happy ending

oh oh, oh oh, oh oh, oh oh
oh oh, oh oh, oh oh, oh oh
oh oh, oh oh, oh...

i am so goin to get her album... =p

2004-05-18T22:18:00.000+08:00

eh~ third post liao... almost forget how is it like to post in a blog liao... hoohoo... need more practise sia~

anyway todae swam 30 laps todae in the pool... sure felt damn refreshing ya...

juz managed to tune my guitar.. damn troublesome sia, took me 40 mins to do so. well at least it's tuned. summore dis week quite slack, no maths S, no hW for chem S, finally can find sum time to learn the guitar, osso shun bian cheong abit of my driving theory test... hoteh la.

feels damn boring now... well back to guitaring ba~

2004-05-16T22:14:00.000+08:00

onli my 2nd dae since republishin my bloggie... but it feels like i've had it all along... well i kinda lyke regret deleting my old bloggie... got withdrawal symptoms.... haha budden a combination of laziness and a lack of time... hahaz..

WATCH THIS SPACE

2004-05-15T18:21:00.000+08:00

blog's up and runnin... simple and clean... tt's good enought for me~